This year the Christmas tree stood unaccosted, the wrapped and trimmed presents safe from harm, and a gingerbread house yet stands. These conditions were not possible lo the many years before but now the baby of the family turned four-years-old on Christmas Eve, and a good little four she is. Infanthood, toddlerhood, all of that is behind us now. What is upon is?
Arwen is four months from 16 with dating and driving on the horizon. Talk of colleges, majors, and careers have a fanciful, dreamy tone now as a high school sophomore,although she is quite serious, but I sense a change is coming very soon. Adulthood looms large ahead on the horizon, the vision that from afar is filled with freedom and possibilities but as it comes closer you see, if you truly look, weighty decisions and heavy responsibilities. Is is so close. Two and a half more years of high school for the eldest and then the next one is right behind her beginning high school in the fall. With all of them about two years apart about I can see the beginning of the end on the horizon, the end of our family as it stands now.
Beginnings of adulthood, going out on their own little wings, starting their own families, is an exciting (and scary!) thought (and I am not naive enough to think that all happens when they turn 18!) But I know it is a change for our family as well. Being the eldest in my family and the first to leave the nest for college, and chool (BYU) being so far from home, then getting married after just three years away, and never returned to closer than 5 hours of home had an effect on my original family. As a parent, I look at the eight of us playing and arguing and laughing and all of the chaos and think this is how it is supposed to be! They want to grow up and move on but I want to hold on to this . . .
Looking at 2010 and what I need to work on I am honestly assessing how well we have prepared our children, what skills do I need to work on with each of them for their age and maturity level, as a family set some goals of basics and preparednesses, and things each would like to learn. In some areas we are doing great, for example both of the girls have done all of their own laundry for years and can both cook and bake independently. The older boys can do some basic cooking. Everyone has chores. Simplify and organize are skills we all can work on this year.
But the root of the matter is time is marching on, as it always does. It seems to have sped up now with teenagers in the game. This year will have 52 weekends, 52 Sabbaths, 52+chances for a weekly family night, and in our best case 365 chances to tuck in your babies and kiss them good night, 365 days to say “I love you”, and countless opportunities to make today, this moment count.
Live without regret! Is one of my firmly held mantras–when making a choice go with the one you would regret more if you hadn’t chosen it. Laugh, dance, sing, kiss, be silly, rejoice, love your family to pieces and let them know it! You won’t regret it and neither will I!
Tags: Family Life
January 12th, 2009 · 8 Comments
Top 10 reasons I am glad we killed the TV:
10. The librarians know our entire family by name.
9. We have crazy family dance time at least weekly.
8. Family read alouds are the best! (We recommend Fablehaven series and Candy Shop Wars as two favorites!)
7. LESS NOISE!!!
6. No more trying to quick change the channel during “uncomfortable” commercials.
5. We are actually doing our genealogy/family history work.
4. No longer frustrated by the lack of real news coverage on the local nightly news.
3. One less thing for the kids to argue over.
2. Political ads, need I say more?
1. Our kids didn’t know what to ask for Christmas.
One of my favorite Christmas gifts was from Arwen, our 14 1/2 yo. It was a copy of the poem “Mike TeaVee” from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Ronald Dahl thanking me for getting rid of broadcast TV.
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The most important thing we’ve learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set –
Or better still, just don’t install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we’ve been,
We’ve watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone’s place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they’re hypnotised by it,
Until they’re absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don’t climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink –
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSE IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK — HE ONLY SEES!
‘All right!’ you’ll cry. ‘All right!’ you’ll say,
‘But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children? Please explain!’
We’ll answer this by asking you,
‘What used the darling ones to do?
‘How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?’
Have you forgotten? Don’t you know?
We’ll say it very loud and slow:
THEY … USED … TO … READ! They’d READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
To READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching ’round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it’s Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr. Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs. Tiggy-Winkle and-
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr. Toad, and bless my soul,
There’s Mr. Rat and Mr. Mole-
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks-
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They’ll now begin to feel the need
Of having something to read.
And once they start — oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They’ll grow so keen
They’ll wonder what they’d ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean,
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.
by Roald Dahl
To clarify, we do still have a television set. Now about those movies. . .
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Tags: Family Life · Soapbox
November 12th, 2008 · 8 Comments
I haven’t written more because as of the end of September I began work as a professional photographer in a local studio. Freelancing for the last few years has been wonderful fun but sporadic. Now seemed like the right time and the right opportunity to try a studio setting and I am loving it!
Lately, I have had a wonderful eye-opening experience shooting senior portraits. I do not think that I am a terribly judgmental person, but like most people I do make judgment calls and perhaps prejudge people I meet, (and maybe I am harsher on teenagers!) But as they sit in front of my lens and I am truly in the moment something happens. My shell of prejudice begins to fall away and I feel a connection with the divine in that person.
First, I see them as their mother or grandmother may see them, with loving, kind, forgiving eyes. And then after just a few more minutes I get a glimpse of how I think a loving Heavenly Father, or God, sees them, and I am in awe. I begin to see things in them and appreciate them in new ways. The camera lens becomes a lens to see through His eyes.
This is why I love what I do. My heart has been softened. I have been given a precious gift–eyes to see more than I on my own could possibly know. For me creating portraits that capture the best in each person is not simply a technical matter of lighting, posing, and angles. For me, each portrait is to show a child of God as the true work of art.
Tags: Family Life
