I once had a teenage boy say to me “You’re cool. There aren’t too many cool moms.”
I wasn’t sure how to take that at the time or exactly why he felt that way. Is it my propensity towards tie-die, bandannas, and Birkenstocks? Or the fact that we could discuss issues of poverty and discrimination or the pros of industrial hemp? Or was it simply the fact I could have a conversation with a member of a much maligned group, i.e. teenage boys?
I hadn’t really thought about that in a while until this week when my eldest, Arwen 14, told me one of her friends was hoping to see me when I picked her up to say hi. She said “My friends like you, they think you’re cool.” Really??? Just a musing here again as to why. I don’t try to be cool, or fit in, or act like a teen. Maybe I don’t “act my age” of nearing 40, but what does that mean anyway? Most of the time I feel more like my 16-year-old self than not. (I often attribute that to the fact that I married my high school sweetheart.) Maybe it is because I see teens and try to accept them for who they are while thinking the best of them. Playful teasing and a dose of sarcasm seem to break the ice. And I am for the most part comfortable around them as well as being comfortable with myself.
Having a positive relationship with adults at all phases of development is a positive thing for individuals and society. I value community and all members in that community, teenagers being no exception. I guess kids appreciate that too as a six-year-old told me last week “you’re one cool mom.”
