This year the Christmas tree stood unaccosted, the wrapped and trimmed presents safe from harm, and a gingerbread house yet stands. These conditions were not possible lo the many years before but now the baby of the family turned four-years-old on Christmas Eve, and a good little four she is. Infanthood, toddlerhood, all of that is behind us now. What is upon is?
Arwen is four months from 16 with dating and driving on the horizon. Talk of colleges, majors, and careers have a fanciful, dreamy tone now as a high school sophomore,although she is quite serious, but I sense a change is coming very soon. Adulthood looms large ahead on the horizon, the vision that from afar is filled with freedom and possibilities but as it comes closer you see, if you truly look, weighty decisions and heavy responsibilities. Is is so close. Two and a half more years of high school for the eldest and then the next one is right behind her beginning high school in the fall. With all of them about two years apart about I can see the beginning of the end on the horizon, the end of our family as it stands now.
Beginnings of adulthood, going out on their own little wings, starting their own families, is an exciting (and scary!) thought (and I am not naive enough to think that all happens when they turn 18!) But I know it is a change for our family as well. Being the eldest in my family and the first to leave the nest for college, and chool (BYU) being so far from home, then getting married after just three years away, and never returned to closer than 5 hours of home had an effect on my original family. As a parent, I look at the eight of us playing and arguing and laughing and all of the chaos and think this is how it is supposed to be! They want to grow up and move on but I want to hold on to this . . .
Looking at 2010 and what I need to work on I am honestly assessing how well we have prepared our children, what skills do I need to work on with each of them for their age and maturity level, as a family set some goals of basics and preparednesses, and things each would like to learn. In some areas we are doing great, for example both of the girls have done all of their own laundry for years and can both cook and bake independently. The older boys can do some basic cooking. Everyone has chores. Simplify and organize are skills we all can work on this year.
But the root of the matter is time is marching on, as it always does. It seems to have sped up now with teenagers in the game. This year will have 52 weekends, 52 Sabbaths, 52+chances for a weekly family night, and in our best case 365 chances to tuck in your babies and kiss them good night, 365 days to say “I love you”, and countless opportunities to make today, this moment count.
Live without regret! Is one of my firmly held mantras–when making a choice go with the one you would regret more if you hadn’t chosen it. Laugh, dance, sing, kiss, be silly, rejoice, love your family to pieces and let them know it! You won’t regret it and neither will I!
